2011-08-26

Shoulder my cry

Contrary to popular belief, every man, however macho or otherwise, has every emotions that are considered feminine. We cry. We need support. We love. We miss. We are what we are. Here I am throwing in my growing frustration into words & hoping it would cure me and 'man' me up! :-)
This ain't a take on any one nor a sarcastic hit on my ex(s) but just words to my current flow of thoughts. Appreciate if you can but I ain't taking anything negative on this one! Not in a mood, you see!




Silent as tears rolls the inner abyss deepens
At times in life, we pause the run, look back and realize
its more chaotic & unpredictable than a pair of rolling dice;
Every aspect of my life has seen its share of low & high
But love is the pain that leaves me empty, parched & dry...
        ...can someone share a shoulder for me to cry?!!


I am creative, sensitive, funny n jolly to be around
well... but that's not good enough is what I just found
my care, understanding is needed when you down, out n sour
but when it comes to loving me I am just shown the door.
        ...is there anyone who can love me & shoulder my cry?

Need an understanding shoulder to feel human
"Thanks for being born" I was told after years together
"Naah! This is not working" I was slapped 3 days later;
without warning my best birthday turned into worst nightmare
a cold eerie darkness loomed over me as stood alone here...
        ...waiting for some generous one to lend & shoulder my cry.


For a real long time loneliness has been my only partner
so much so that when people come next to me I shudder.
Ain't easy to look normal when the abyss inside tears you
It doesn't help when people who like you are less than a few
        ...wondering if my destiny includes a gal who shoulder my cry?!


Lonely as I walk through the desert of my life.
In deep sleep, I suddenly heard GOD say: Sins of the past!
I woke up with tears mixing with sweat to say: End it fast.
He vanished with a smile that said: No end to your loneliness!
Suddenly some clarity about my destiny, more or less.
        Realized there ain't none who can love & shoulder my cry!



This I am penning to tend my deepest heart-felt apologies
to all those "Sorry-can't-love-even-when-forced" lovely ladies.
I fought with you for not loving me bcoz I thought I had a chance
Stupid me! I just learned that I am legless moron wanting to dance!
        Thanks for not agreeing to shoulder my cry!

4 comments:

Sai said...

You rock RP...Very well written...
Lot more to you than you look like...

Anonymous said...

Hey why don't you find a or few heads to lay on your shoulder?

Sadness is Temporary... But staying with Sadness is Foolishness..

After 5 yrs you will find this as a big comedy...

All the best dude... You will find a better person to put her head on your shoulder!

RP said...

@Sai: Thanks buddy. Everybody got more than the what appears as apparent.
@Anon: Thanks. By nature I am a very passionate & possessive person. So my possessiveness is not allowing me to let go of the images/memory/thoughts. So, at times, these haunt me and I struggle to move on.. This was written during one such low. Otherwise, I am doing pretty good. Thanks for the suggestion, though. Will keep that in mind. Will hunt for few heads :-)

preeti said...

i may not be the shoulder u can cry on...but yes i got tears in eyes thinking about all that is gone wrong in your life ...