Happy Bday Olive

Today would have been one of my best days in life. But that not be the case decided destiny! Olive decided I am not important in her life & so be it said I. Tomorrow is her bday & I cannot call her! :-) If I could have then I would have given her a bunch of her fav flowers & read this poem as the clock strike 00:00hrs!! Probably on my knees! :-) The romantic in me does not have job now!!! :-D Anyways, if she ever reads this blog here is my chance to reach out to her.

Even in a lonely desert spanning miles & miles
a mere thought of you brings joy & smiles;
The beauty, the charm & the twinkling eyes
would melt hearts like a bucket of ice!

You sashay along with a smile on your face,
like a ballet dancer full of élan & grace;
Your beauty & force of love is so strong & pure
even Aphrodite would feel vulnerable & insecure!

Undying confidence & a strong sense of individuality
form the biggest forces behind your personality;
Knowing the strength & determination deep inside you
even GODs & world would conspire to help you!

Today on the occasion of your 21st birthday,
Allow me to say 'MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY'
With this 'I shall bid adieu to you'
by saying 'MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU'

move on....

The world talks about moving on! "Move on, man, else you are wasting time!" For me it is easily said than done. But, if the whole world is in chaos & your chaos seem lesser importance than theirs. And, if the whole world can move on then better you do too!!

The trouble of moving on is to shatter the dreams that you have built. My Olive once spoke to me about dreams & how important to guard it against breakages. And, guess what, she was the one who shatter most of my dreams all the way! :-) I guess life works that way!

Unfortunately, I believe in 'ALL FOR GOOD' and I know what is happening is for my good. The only trouble with this philosophy is the state of mind to accept it. It is easy to believe in philosophy but acceptance is difficult.

But, yeah, I cannot stay on
for I need to move on;
life awaits with much surprises
new one after every time sun rises.

Wish I could have a friend along
to fend off troubles all along
but life, sometimes, throws you alone
to work on your sins & to atone!

God Bless!!

Is it worth it?

Here I am crying out and waiting, lacking all the patience, for that call.

People ask why so emotional these days? Why so troubled? Why so struggled? I have only one thing to say - try. Try living with expectations and expectations not being met. Try living with expectations, which was met earlier but not met anymore. It is a great time of your life. The pain is unbearable. The pain.

And, is there any thing more worst? Yeah, I will say yes. I will have to say yes only bcoz of my belief. My belief in the history. The history of the current situation is great. If the same trend continues the worst is still not yet in the horizon. I am yet to face the gravest of the troubles and have to crosses the hardest of the hurdles. I am bloody freaking sure that the hardest part of this entire episode is probably just around the corner.

Can I come out of unscathed?! Great if I can. But, I am sure I can't bcoz I am already half bruised and half handicapped.

I heard a nice phrase from my friend - 'Let Go. Let God.' I just pray to God.... nah! not pray but command God to gimme the strengths to fight the fight. Run the Race. Finish the game, at least a matured bit.

fish Vs boat

bored to hell I am, frustrated to the limits,
wondering where my life is planning 2 take me;
realization struck like bolt of lightening -
'does the fish know where the waves lead them?'
well, fishes don't but the boat does!

choices are with us - boat Vs fish;
fish lets the wave decide its course,
boat uses the wave for its course;
the choice is not a split-second decision
but a life-time commitment & a life-line too.

the choice decides our final destination
or is it our destination that maketh the choice?
wish for some clarity and some guidance
but, as always, clarity comes with the choice
and guidance comes with the destination!

'welcome to life, it sucks & you'll love it'
said, Monica Geller, of F.R.I.E.N.D.S fame;
then i laughed; now i cry & being laughed at;
i ask not for help to choose for i find it selfish
but still choices hangs over head - boat Vs fish.

unbearable pain crawls deep inside the heart
want the comfort and the medicine of my love
irony as it might sound, but truth it is
that my love caused this pain only it can heal!
'Love hurts,' said Victor M. Garcia Jr. I nodded.

The choices are to play the 'freedom' fish -
'go by the current & leave the past behind';
or to play the 'never-give-up' boat -
'understand the current & steer to victory';
Either case, it hurts & I could use some tears.

"Easy way out? Fish! fish! fish!" says devil;
"Best way out? Boat! Boat! Boat!" says angel;
Now, I should choose the boat & row my way out
but I don't have ability 2 understand the current
neither do i know anything about rowing!

sitting here, i choose to row & fight out
but fear creeps in; failure looms large;
are they real or imaginary fear & failure?
I know not! But, my sure-footed steps tumble!
I better pick up else i will go down rumbles!

I hope my efforts realize success
but right now, the current is incomprehensible
the oars are missing & I don't know swimming!
But I chose & will stick to it; I just pray
i am capable to participate in this game of life!

waiting for the call....

Yeah, today is the cultural day and the organizer is my close friend. I wished. I wished for the success of the event, as always. All these years I have been wishing and my wishes were received with joy. I think it was received this year too with the same joy. I just hope and think but I don't know. How can I know?

Well, the answer lies on the call. If I get a call regarding how the event went then yeah, my wishes were worth it... no actually, i wished, any case! I mean, I genuinely, wished. I always wished success. In fact, I still wish only success. I am not evaluating my intention of wishes based on the responses. So, I should not check the worthiness of my wishes based on response. But, then all these years I received great response. I am waiting for the same this year.


Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

No response till now! :-(

Is the trouble bcoz I am waiting or bcoz I am expecting? I love to hear what had happened today at the event. Every details of it. Everything... I mean, every little things. But, will I get the call?! Will my interests & joy-in-hearing-the-success-stories be will honored? Probably, I will get a call tomorrow. May be not! I know, I am supposed to keep a cool head & continue with my way of life but I am not able to...

Still, waiting...

Oh! damn this life...

still freaking waiting...

Update: still waiting... my life is turning to be interesting... I am not sure if I would get the call.. And, I am still not sure how to react though I don't want to react... oh! damn!

what do you do?

The big question is "What do you do?"

What do you do when you miss somebody so much?
What do you do when suddenly the life line is removed?
What do you do when the reason for your happiness is no more with you?
What do you do when your happy factor gives so much pain?
What do you do when you are not able to bear the pain?
What do you do when you want to inflict physical pain just to remove the emotional pain?
What do you do when the one thing you want in this life is not interested in being a part of you?
Bloody fucking hell, what the heck would one do?!

The big question is "What can you do?"

will the world conspire for me?

Have heard/read the most famous statement in one of the Paulo Coelho's book 'The Alchemist' and the statement goes thus - "When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true."

Well isn't this great? If this can happen always then it is great.

Now the question is can it happen to me?! Ever?! Well, a good question. Guess the answer is obvious. Yes, it will. Actually, it can! It will provided that I am as desperate as I can get. Am I as desperate? Well, yes and no! I am desperate to go back in time but I am also angry at the things are right now. So, right now, my head is filled with clashes between the past & the present.

With clash at its peak & worst, how can i think of a future? More over, how can I be desperate about my future?! Interesting, isn't it?

Well, if I can somehow settle my thoughts & focus on what I need, may be! Just may be, I can get this Coelho's thesis come true. I can somehow get the whole world to conspire to fulfill my wish! But for that I need make some changes... in me! I need to focus & get the best out of me! For which, I hope GOD has given me the strengths to tackle my inner fears & over come them. If HE has not then HE better give me! :-)

...it pains!

When things don't go right,
when people you trust don't respond
the way we want;

When things don't go right,
when times seem as difficult
as it can get;

When things don't go right,
when past seem very painful
though it was pleasure then;

...is it bad to expect the end of world?!

....it hurts a lot more!!

What is the most difficult thing in the whole life?!
The most simplest thing is the most difficult thing. Confusing right?! Thats life, I guess.

The most difficult stuff is to give/provide what the whole relationship is based on. For instance, friendship is based on trust & support, the most difficult thing is to give friend the unconditional support & trust. Similarly, Love is based on space & time given to each other and the most difficult thing is to give love that much need space.

In both case, it is very very painful to give without gaining much! I struggling and in near psychological-trauma trying to give. But, guess what, I have decided to give. Let us see if I can get back what I almost lost - Friendship & Love.

.... it hurts

Some times... the life turns interesting.. it takes all that it gave and it gives back all that you don't want... it shows the path which you want to forget.. it opens the doors that you never knew existed.. Well thats life in short..

What you think cannot happen will happen.. what you think should not happen will definitely happen.. what you want to happen will evade you like none before..

I am thinking of doing something next weekend and I am sure the thing called life will definitely give an interesting twist the entire show.

Let us see how Swami handles this & me...

pride

i was chatting with my friend and this suddenly came to my mind..

the most interesting portion of life is pride
it appears like a wonderful ride
it takes us up and up of the tide
until the time when we fall and have no place to hide

meet the spartans - a piece of sh*t!

this saturday was my black-saturday. I happened to watch this sorry movie called 'MEET THE SPARTAN.' This is my back-lash @ the director. I am also joining the zillions across the globe who have questioned the existence of the film makers



To start with, I had loads of expectation as I was picking up the tickets for this movie. I expected it to be, to say the least, partially interesting. The movie started on a decent note. Spoofing the wild-wolf with 'happy feet' famed penguin. We kinda enjoyed these scenes esp the spoof of the depiction. (Remember, the shadow play of the young Leonidas piercing the spear into the throat of the wild-wolf) The shadow was very aptly spoofed here. The subsequent scenes of him picking the wife (Carmen Elektra) is also fine. In fact, King Leonidas(Sean Maguire) training his son is also a very hilarious compilation. Probably the only best sequence of the entire movie.

Then starts the trouble. They hit on Britney Spears! Why? Why? Poor Britney is, even when left to herself, in shambles! Hitting on her was not sending any laugh-vibes! In fact, a brief touch on Britney's subject might have been tolerable but giving her more than a minute of screen-space in an 80-mins movie is ridiculous. Then a hit of K-Fed. Boy! Boy! Why? It sounded like the film-makers lacked the subjects to hit upon. This scene was spoofing the famous-kick by King Leonida when the Persian messenger insults the queen. I could not understand what K-Fed, Britney Spears, Ryan Seacrest, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell & Randy Jackson (of American Idol fame) are doing in that scene?! I was under the belief that even while spoofing you spend a considerable amount of time trying to stitch the scenes together!! Apparently the film maker did not have such thoughts!!
And, I have had enough of Britney and K-Fed. How many more years are these paparazzi gonna spend their time, energy & effort on this couple. Even his name has FED but our fellows are never FED-up of K-FED!! Phew! And Paris Hilton! My Good Lord. Another of those bakras this world is interested in! Always! Always! And, for the depiction of Paris Hilton in this movie, if I were her I would take Mafia's help to eliminate the film-makers. What crap shit they made out of her. I am no fan of her but then showing her (for that matter any body) in this fashion is, to say the least, damn demeaning!

Carmen Electra! The super-hot babe has been a waste of screen presence. Except for a couple of scenes where her assets are of some use, I could not find one good reason why she is even around?! I mean, there was no scope for acting and interestingly, she did not even try to act. No story. No Big banners. No big production house. At least, a couple of bedroom scenes would have added credit to her presence & her assets. NO! No nothing what so ever. Then WTF was she thinking when she signed this film?! All she is in this film is a slutty whore who does not expose too much either. All she does is try (mark the word - try) to walk in a sophisticated manner with some old & boring fashioned dress.
Sean Maguire! Ah! The other waste of time! I should say, he did attempt some decent acting. His presence was not totally useless as much as Carmen was. Even the painted abs looks quite natural on him. His expressions might require a bit more skills. Though this movie gave zero-scope for acting et al but still such plain acting is not going to scale up. At the very least, he was some treat for girl-viewers. But Carmen ditched they male viewers! :-(

The most horrible part of the entire movie was not even the lack of focus... it was the presence of body fluids!! I have got no clue why this western spoofs are always filled with -
          1. mucus
          2. farting
          3. gay-relationship
          4. vomit

Why? Why? Why do these guys have the fetish for such nauseating stuff? I almost threw up watching one such scene in this movie. And this fetish is not limited to this movie alone. I watched 'The Date Movie' and my good lord, I could not stand the movie after the 20th minute, when 2 guys are playing basketball and one guy gets to rub his face on the sweaty-hairy opponent and finally he vomits a bundle of hair!! Yeeeks!! I cannot stand such stupidities. Do westerners enjoy these?! And, worst, only these?!
On the most interesting aspect of the 2 movies - Date Movie & Meet the Spartans are both written & directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. And when I looked at the IMDB, I realized the ratings were 2.70 & 2.30 (out of 10), respectively! Ah! I should have had the sense to check this before watching the movie. Next time I shall.

Is Rahul Dravid unlucky or a bad captain?

Chennai Super Kins - Played: 4 Won: 4 Lost: 0 Tied: 0
Bangalore Royal Challengers - Played: 5 Won: 1 Lost: 4 Tied: 0

The team record above speaks a million words about the gap between the league-topper and league-bottomer ;-)The worst irritation of the entire record is that BRC is led by the supremely-talented 'Rahul Dravid' and the CSK is led by the supremely-lucky Mahindra Singh Dhoni. BRC by former captain and CSK by his successor. Do you see what I see?! Dravid has been losing ground ever since he lost his captaincy to Dhoni!

RAHUL & His Captaincy

Some say, he volunteered to step down; Some others say, he was forced to volunteer; Well I say, he did a good job, whether forced or otherwise. Dravid was not being a good captain. I, a mere gully-cricket-cheer-leader (yes, cricket is not game), was able to find so many mistakes in his fielding positions and his bowling changes. I distinctly remember a game between Sri Lanka and India (of course). Vaas enters the arena for batting and Zaheer has just scalped Jayawardhane. Zaheer runs in. OMG!!! There is no slip! I was surprised. Zaheer is swinging the ball like a pendulum and Vaas is seeing the red-cherry for the 1st time today. The most most obvious of the steps to do is to put a slip! Elementary my dear Watson! And, guess what happened?! The ball takes the edge and runs past the slip cordon (which was empty) to boundary! Most obvious. And, I could not believe my when I saw Dravid placing himself in the slip position for the next ball!! I was in serious disbelief! Did he actually expect Vaas to repeat the mistake?! Holy Christ! Can somebody send in some cricketing sense to him? He is wonderful player but as a leader! Where is he? Where is the fighter Dravid we have enjoyed watching? Where is the tough guy whom the opposition feared? His temperament as a player is great but as a captain is bad. He emotes too often and too much. Watch his reaction when his team falters?! And, somebody said Ganguly emotes more? I say, Ganguly was better controlled and a better captain. He did not show is tension, unless required!!

Dravid has been making some horrendous mistakes while captaining. No doubt, he is the best player India has produced. Technically correct. Clinical Perfection. Stylish. Dependable. Reliable. Performer. THE WALL. But, he cannot captain for nuts.

DHONI, a surprise!!

Dhoni has been a surprise for me. Well when he took over as a captain, he was definitely not the best of the lot. In fact, he was not even in the thick of runs when he took over. But, look at him now, he suddenly appears like a saviour of the Indian Cricketing Fraternity from elimination. Oh, yeah, I mean it. The way we performed under Dravid's able-guidance, I was wondering if cricket in India is becoming like cricket in Zimbabwe. Recollect Zimbabwe in 1999 and Zimbabwe in 2008. In 1996, they gave Azhar's India a run for money by their fierce competition and unyielding attitude. But, right now, they are not even able to perform against Kenya, the next worst team. So, Dhoni's entry as a captain was a breath of fresh air to the Indian cricket. But, what surprised me was that 'he was successful!!' I mean, think about this. We were destined to win the T20-WC but did not deserve it! Misbah-ul-Haq (not Pakistan though) deserved the victory! We won by luck, I say. No way, Dhoni could have stopped Misbah-ul-Haq from winning the game. Only Lady Luck and Misbah could have and, its nobody's guess, whether they did or not. So, I say, Dhoni did not get T20-WC for us but Misbah did!! Dhoni did not get us the Tri-series cup from Aus but media-pressure on Ponting did!!

Apart from Ishant Sharma, there are no new players in Dhoni's team who were not playing while Dravid was captaining. But, suddenly this team has becoming a winning team! How? The big question is - What Dhoni has that Dravid does not have? I would say :
          - 'confidence' in his decisions
          - 'pro-active' and 'not reactive'
          - 'aggressive'
          - 'victory crowns'
Take each one of them, he does not mind dropping seniors of a match and does not fear coming out in open and declaring the same to the media. Also, He does not alter his decision to give the ball to Sreesanth because the batsmen is scoring easy runs and hence he does not have reaction-based-fielding-setup. He is aggressive in his approach, he always want to be on top of the opposition. Finally, he has victories to feel proud of.

Bangalore Royal Challengers

All said and done, what is happening to Dravid's BRC?! They are losing every game and they are losing it badly! No fight! No match, it is slop-sided. The team is the 2nd costliest team. The team boast of very very good class players - Kallis, Mark Boucher, Praveen Kumar, Nathan Bracken, Misbah-ul-Haq, Ross Taylor, Virat Kohli (of U-19 fame) and Rahul Dravid himself. To come to think of this is not a enviable T20 team but then, damn, each of them are legends in their own way. But they have been losing like a bunch of street-cricketers. They are not show-casing their international class. They are buckling under pressure. During the match against Dhoni's CSK, Boucher wanted to get out at any cost. When CSK was generous enough to miss a catch, Boucher was not happy and he gave another chance. And this time he chose a better fielder! Ah! I was pissed off the way Boucher played!! He played to lose. If BRC is gonna continue playing this way then I am sure this Rahul's team is gonna have the same outing as the Rahul's team did during World Cup. Such a formidable team and no performance is unaccepted. Boucher and Kallis's performance is dismal to say the least. Boucher, for starters, is capable of handling the opposition and pressure & high-run rate as if he is handling a small kitten. He is that capable but of all the players of BRC, he has been the worst. Unless he performs I do not see victory for BRC. Ever.



So, is RAHUL DRAVID UNLUCKY or A BAD CAPTAIN?

Indicators are indicators not licenses!!

Traffic woes! Auto-rickshaw Mafia! Cops & Bribes! Ah! Every tale for every one.

A peaceful morning! A nice warm kiss from your wife and a bed-coffee! LA Lakers won says Times! Aloo Parata for b/f! Your old Royal Enfield starts in a single kick! The ever-busy street seem free! Your Royal Enfield responds to your commands! The signal at your right turn is green! No traffic! In a beautiful position to turn! A santro next to you taking a turn as well! It is close!! OMG!!! SCREEEEECH!! Without Indicator Santro decides to take a U-turn and you are on the wrong side!!!!

How many of you have faced this problem? I am sure many have. In fact, every driver/rider on streets of India have definitely faced this problem. And, many of us have been guilty of being such a problem to others too.

Most often than not, Lane-discipline is a word we have never heard of! Or worst, lane is associated only with by-lanes! Discipline is only for kinder garden kids! Together, lane-discipline is a disciplinary program designed exclusive for kinder garden kids living in by-lanes!! And, do not be surprised if people actually accept this definition. Without such discipline all we find is - Vehicles jump lanes as if it is their right to do so; Pedestrians cross the road as if it is their corridor; Cops take bribe as if it is their Salary. So much for morals!

Auto-rickshaws! Boy! Boy! It will be a great scientific research to login to auto-wallah's mind (i am not sure if they have brains, so mind is the right choice of word here) and understand their acts (again, thoughts means thinking, I am not sure if auto-drivers are permitted to think). Their traffic sense(??) is unique. They use the 'Orange-indicator' in the bright & sunny daytime and use their dark hand(yes, all the auto-drivers are damn dark ONLY) while making the turn. Probably they like to blend in with nature - Orange during bright sunny day and Black during dark night! You know he is a new driver if he indicates you when he is about to stop/turn! You can comfortably ignore him because he will not last long in this competitive field of auto-driving.

Indicators!! People think indicators are license to make a turn. They turn the left-indicator on and rush from the right-end of the road to the left in one single quick swirl. If you stare at them they glare at you back pointing at the indicator!! Also, many turn the indicators on always. This gives them chance to take a turn when ever they suddenly realize they have been driving straight for long. Bloody Indicators!

Probably next time I shall write about "Horns and Pedestrians." They make our lives!

Summer Vacation for Employees

After really long...
Was recently wondering how it will be to have summer vacation for office goers too! In India, unlike West, there is no concept of long vacation for employees. No Christmas vacation. No Diwali vacation. NO VACATION. Thats work in India! :-)

But, imagine. Imagine vacation for employees. Just like students, a summer vacation. May be a concession in train-fare! :-) (for unknownst, in India, the students get a concession in Rail-ticket fare (and also air-fair) )

We could add more to it. Imagine a summer-vacation-pack (with concession) by leading travel agents, say, Thomus Cook. Say, a 50% off for all the IT-employees! (he he he) You get to go to your relatives house and eat, eat, and eat, till they kick you out! Then you travel (again in concession) to your other relatives house and do the same! Yeah, I almost forgot. We go to the relatives house and expect the uncles & aunts (in our case it will cousins & her husbands) to take us around to the town. May be, a visit to the town's circus, a zoo (mandatory, though the animals looks the same across the globe) and a compulsory, late night ice-creams!

Every body we should be woken up only with a 'Today, we are going to... ' or 'Today, the special menu is...' Also, the uncles & aunt's should have a beautiful neighbor! :-) And, late in the afternoon, when the aunts & uncles are asleep, the beautiful neighbor and we (nah! in this case, me) will sneak behind the mango tree in the farm house behind their house... (wow! this imagination game is really interesting! lol)

Yeah, during a visit to the town exhibition, we should be able to run around and falling on the dirt without anybody smirking on our face. We should be able to cry standing in front of the Giant wheel and plead to our mom to permit us to play in that. Yeah, do not forget to add a nude bath in the town lake/river! ;-)

Ah! A summer vacation (with concession) and a beautiful neighbor, who does not want it?