2008-04-30

Indicators are indicators not licenses!!

Traffic woes! Auto-rickshaw Mafia! Cops & Bribes! Ah! Every tale for every one.

A peaceful morning! A nice warm kiss from your wife and a bed-coffee! LA Lakers won says Times! Aloo Parata for b/f! Your old Royal Enfield starts in a single kick! The ever-busy street seem free! Your Royal Enfield responds to your commands! The signal at your right turn is green! No traffic! In a beautiful position to turn! A santro next to you taking a turn as well! It is close!! OMG!!! SCREEEEECH!! Without Indicator Santro decides to take a U-turn and you are on the wrong side!!!!

How many of you have faced this problem? I am sure many have. In fact, every driver/rider on streets of India have definitely faced this problem. And, many of us have been guilty of being such a problem to others too.

Most often than not, Lane-discipline is a word we have never heard of! Or worst, lane is associated only with by-lanes! Discipline is only for kinder garden kids! Together, lane-discipline is a disciplinary program designed exclusive for kinder garden kids living in by-lanes!! And, do not be surprised if people actually accept this definition. Without such discipline all we find is - Vehicles jump lanes as if it is their right to do so; Pedestrians cross the road as if it is their corridor; Cops take bribe as if it is their Salary. So much for morals!

Auto-rickshaws! Boy! Boy! It will be a great scientific research to login to auto-wallah's mind (i am not sure if they have brains, so mind is the right choice of word here) and understand their acts (again, thoughts means thinking, I am not sure if auto-drivers are permitted to think). Their traffic sense(??) is unique. They use the 'Orange-indicator' in the bright & sunny daytime and use their dark hand(yes, all the auto-drivers are damn dark ONLY) while making the turn. Probably they like to blend in with nature - Orange during bright sunny day and Black during dark night! You know he is a new driver if he indicates you when he is about to stop/turn! You can comfortably ignore him because he will not last long in this competitive field of auto-driving.

Indicators!! People think indicators are license to make a turn. They turn the left-indicator on and rush from the right-end of the road to the left in one single quick swirl. If you stare at them they glare at you back pointing at the indicator!! Also, many turn the indicators on always. This gives them chance to take a turn when ever they suddenly realize they have been driving straight for long. Bloody Indicators!

Probably next time I shall write about "Horns and Pedestrians." They make our lives!

2008-04-29

Summer Vacation for Employees

After really long...
Was recently wondering how it will be to have summer vacation for office goers too! In India, unlike West, there is no concept of long vacation for employees. No Christmas vacation. No Diwali vacation. NO VACATION. Thats work in India! :-)

But, imagine. Imagine vacation for employees. Just like students, a summer vacation. May be a concession in train-fare! :-) (for unknownst, in India, the students get a concession in Rail-ticket fare (and also air-fair) )

We could add more to it. Imagine a summer-vacation-pack (with concession) by leading travel agents, say, Thomus Cook. Say, a 50% off for all the IT-employees! (he he he) You get to go to your relatives house and eat, eat, and eat, till they kick you out! Then you travel (again in concession) to your other relatives house and do the same! Yeah, I almost forgot. We go to the relatives house and expect the uncles & aunts (in our case it will cousins & her husbands) to take us around to the town. May be, a visit to the town's circus, a zoo (mandatory, though the animals looks the same across the globe) and a compulsory, late night ice-creams!

Every body we should be woken up only with a 'Today, we are going to... ' or 'Today, the special menu is...' Also, the uncles & aunt's should have a beautiful neighbor! :-) And, late in the afternoon, when the aunts & uncles are asleep, the beautiful neighbor and we (nah! in this case, me) will sneak behind the mango tree in the farm house behind their house... (wow! this imagination game is really interesting! lol)

Yeah, during a visit to the town exhibition, we should be able to run around and falling on the dirt without anybody smirking on our face. We should be able to cry standing in front of the Giant wheel and plead to our mom to permit us to play in that. Yeah, do not forget to add a nude bath in the town lake/river! ;-)

Ah! A summer vacation (with concession) and a beautiful neighbor, who does not want it?