fish Vs boat

bored to hell I am, frustrated to the limits,
wondering where my life is planning 2 take me;
realization struck like bolt of lightening -
'does the fish know where the waves lead them?'
well, fishes don't but the boat does!

choices are with us - boat Vs fish;
fish lets the wave decide its course,
boat uses the wave for its course;
the choice is not a split-second decision
but a life-time commitment & a life-line too.

the choice decides our final destination
or is it our destination that maketh the choice?
wish for some clarity and some guidance
but, as always, clarity comes with the choice
and guidance comes with the destination!

'welcome to life, it sucks & you'll love it'
said, Monica Geller, of F.R.I.E.N.D.S fame;
then i laughed; now i cry & being laughed at;
i ask not for help to choose for i find it selfish
but still choices hangs over head - boat Vs fish.

unbearable pain crawls deep inside the heart
want the comfort and the medicine of my love
irony as it might sound, but truth it is
that my love caused this pain only it can heal!
'Love hurts,' said Victor M. Garcia Jr. I nodded.

The choices are to play the 'freedom' fish -
'go by the current & leave the past behind';
or to play the 'never-give-up' boat -
'understand the current & steer to victory';
Either case, it hurts & I could use some tears.

"Easy way out? Fish! fish! fish!" says devil;
"Best way out? Boat! Boat! Boat!" says angel;
Now, I should choose the boat & row my way out
but I don't have ability 2 understand the current
neither do i know anything about rowing!

sitting here, i choose to row & fight out
but fear creeps in; failure looms large;
are they real or imaginary fear & failure?
I know not! But, my sure-footed steps tumble!
I better pick up else i will go down rumbles!

I hope my efforts realize success
but right now, the current is incomprehensible
the oars are missing & I don't know swimming!
But I chose & will stick to it; I just pray
i am capable to participate in this game of life!

waiting for the call....

Yeah, today is the cultural day and the organizer is my close friend. I wished. I wished for the success of the event, as always. All these years I have been wishing and my wishes were received with joy. I think it was received this year too with the same joy. I just hope and think but I don't know. How can I know?

Well, the answer lies on the call. If I get a call regarding how the event went then yeah, my wishes were worth it... no actually, i wished, any case! I mean, I genuinely, wished. I always wished success. In fact, I still wish only success. I am not evaluating my intention of wishes based on the responses. So, I should not check the worthiness of my wishes based on response. But, then all these years I received great response. I am waiting for the same this year.


Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...

No response till now! :-(

Is the trouble bcoz I am waiting or bcoz I am expecting? I love to hear what had happened today at the event. Every details of it. Everything... I mean, every little things. But, will I get the call?! Will my interests & joy-in-hearing-the-success-stories be will honored? Probably, I will get a call tomorrow. May be not! I know, I am supposed to keep a cool head & continue with my way of life but I am not able to...

Still, waiting...

Oh! damn this life...

still freaking waiting...

Update: still waiting... my life is turning to be interesting... I am not sure if I would get the call.. And, I am still not sure how to react though I don't want to react... oh! damn!